1. Enter the house. Take off your shoes. Please note that there is a pair of boots nearby that you have never worn in your life.
2. Turn on the TV and sit on the IKEA sofa. Try to relax. In twenty minutes you will realize that you are randomly poking the remote control. Turn off the TV, remove the batteries from the remote, and put them in the drawer. Do not take any drastic measures yet.
3. Carefully put your iPhone in your pocket. Stop. Have you noticed that you click the mouse on the PC in the same way as you just clicked on the TV remote control? Call your provider and cancel your internet plan for the next month.
4. Use your imagination. Imagine what people used to do before television and the Internet were invented. Take an affectionate glance at the piles of unseen DVDs and unread books that are gathering dust on the shelf of your closet.
5. Realize that your imagination has become black and white.
6. Think carefully and remember that you have never used the lounge for its intended purpose … Never. Remember that this room costs you five or six hours of work every day for a month. Take a pen and calculate the cost of the trip to Japan, which you have dreamed of going for so long. Make sure to calculate everything correctly.
7. Realize that your usual emotional impulse, which led to the purchase of each thing, has already gone, leaving all objects in their simple and uninteresting form. A luxurious designer chair in pastel colors has become just a chair. The beautiful glass sideboard has turned into a chair. A set of impeccably hand-made crockery is in a pile of plates, and a goose-down comforter is just a blanket.
8. Look at the food you bought and realize that Lay’s is just potatoes with dyes and flavors.
9. Examine the printout of your credit card expenses. Open your eyes wide in surprise when you notice how often unplanned purchases are included in the expenses. Decide to go to a monastery.
10. Remember how you went to parties with a friend in a half-abandoned attic. Roommates, homemade paintings and photos on the walls, obscenely low rental costs, and all-encompassing simplicity.
11. Make a list of the 10 most expensive things you will ever buy. Now write down the second list of 10 things that give you the most joy. Feel the chill on your skin that the two lists are not connected at all.
12. Decide to throw yourself a “packing party” like your friends once did. Take blankets that you have never used and cover with them all the things that by this time will be in your boxes. Decide that you will not remove the blankets from the items until you need them. Decide that you don’t need them because you are not at home anyway.
13. Recall the most inspiration from ideas, love, travel, and people as a child. Understand that you have bought yourself a new religion, and these supermarkets from the inside are painfully similar to the walls of cathedrals.
14. Make a fire.
15. Realize that perhaps you are not your thing. Take a long walk. Breathe.
16. Relax. Give yourself the right to start a new life.
